31 December 2014

our Christmas.

a new normal. 
the hubs and i experienced a new sort of Christmas Day and i'm not completely sure it's one i'd like to repeat. and yet, it was spent together, involved coffee and almost no cooking, so .. maybe i should rethink the not repeating thing. maybe.

i woke early. i always wake early. it's a rare thing indeed if i don't. and i don't sleep much. i'd like to but i don't. i did sleep 10 hours one night when we last went camping on the coast. incredible wonderfulness.. but not the norm. 

anyway, i woke early and since evelyn the precious pooch was awake too, we padded into the kitchen where i began the slow brew process of 'pour over' coffee. then we snuggled into the comfy couch and i put the blanket over both of us. in the darkness save for the teenie tinie christmas tree lights on our teenie tinie christmas tree, i sipped and she slept. it's a common morning routine. 

once the hub was among the living i brewed more 'pour over' and began breakfast .. 

scrambled eggs with herbs and guyere cheese, buttermilk biscuits, and thick slices of bacon..

with the dog at our feet we ate in comfortable semi-silence, talking in low tones as to what our day will bring, sharing knowing glances as to who is missing from our morning, and deciding to make the best of the day. yes, i know it was christmas and of course we offered prayer and praise to the One we celebrate. but something happens when a person lives a nightmare. they're forever changed and they look at holidays differently. much. differently. sometimes. if you've been through it or are in it, you get it. if you haven't then please be so kind as to not judge. sometimes it's so very hard to put on the happy face. thank you kindly.

after opening up a few gifts and being delighted with the contents and the thought that went into them, we bathed and took evelyn for a walk. it was brisk outside and it felt good. real good. brisk weather and walking gets the cobwebs out of your brain. 

once home we got the pooch settled and the two of us set out for the movie theater to see Unbroken, the story of louis zamperini, the ww2 pilot. it was a fantastic film and one i encourage you to view. the hubs read the book and said the movie wasn't as intense as the book - that there was far greater terrible treatment than what was shown in the film. my eyes were closed during the more difficult parts .. thankful they left some things out. the movie didn't share the "rest of the story" which includes zamperini's close relationship with Jesus and the fact he returned to Japan to meet with some of the prison guards and how he forgave them .. such inspiration. 

then you know what we did? we went to the auto mall to snoop at some vehicles. the sales people weren't working so we didn't have anyone breathing down our backs. other folks had the same idea. great minds and all...

our plan for christmas dinner was to grill some salmon and have a sweet potato and veggie alongside. we decided to ditch that idea and went out for chinese food instead. it was delicious, we didn't have to cook, and we didn't have to clean up. maybe we're on to something here ...

the evening found us in jammies and watching classic christmas movies.. cozy with one another.

. . . and sitting at my little desk in the guest room ('her' old room) i peer out the window and on the cottage porch i see my neighbor's grey kitty trying to open the door. it's shut tight thank goodness. so he found a good spot and is basking in the full measure of sun. adorable.


At that moment, something shifted sweetly inside him. It was forgiveness, beautiful and effortless and complete. For Louie Zamperini, the war was over.  {Laura Hillenbrand}


  1. It sounds like a sweet Christmas to me. We have gone to the movies several times on Christmas Day because it's Grace's Birthday. It's actually fun. Our Christmas was rather quiet this year and we rather liked it. The hubby, puppy dog, and I went for a walk too. We are hoping this is the beginning of quieter holidays for us. Ours have been so very stressful from extended family for 25 yrs. the kind of stress that I have thought might put me in the hospital. Peace is a true gift.

  2. our christmas had poignant elements of that sweetness you speak of - hoping i didn't come across as too morose. hm. hoping folks can read into the words to see the blessings. that, or i need to edit my post to share more of those! :)

  3. We also had a quiet Christmas but with leftovers from having the kids over on Christmas Eve. I always miss my daughter and her family but traveling 1,000 miles in Winter with five kids makes no sense.

    I have finally come to peace with the new normal.

  4. brenda.. "I have finally come to peace with the new normal." pondering this...

  5. Howdy from Kansas!
    May you have a great new year. I am glad it is the start of 2015. Christmas was really busy with family from out of town coming that I was relieved
    it went well and quiet returned.
    Blessings to you!

  6. Your Christmas sounds lovely, in spite of the circumstances. I understand, truly. Thanks for being transparent with us.

    I agree with Brenda, about the new normal. Grace from above helps us to move thoughtfully forward.

  7. Deanna from Kansas ...
    there's something so special about the post-rush quiet, hm? :)

  8. Brenda ..

    "Grace from above helps us to move thoughtfully forward."

    i love how fellow bloggers offer such insight. thank you.

  9. I get it, dear friend. I do. I shared a bit of our Christmas season on my blog but I purposely left out the struggles and those moments when things were a bit difficult. I focused on the blessings and thought of years to come when we will have choices to make about the way we will spend Christmases alone. Thank you for sharing your sweet thoughts. I prayed for you that day. I did.

  10. It is only through Him that there is joy even in pain. Though very different circumstances, I know this to be true. Hugs <3

  11. I think you are doing so well, adjusting to change that you did not want, nor seek.

    God's grace is abundant and that is evident in your lives.

    Love you…


  12. I have nothing to add to the insightful comments already shared, here. But I could feel your heart through your words; thank you. {gentle hug}

  13. I love your blog postings and the sweet sentiments you share.

    Happy New Year may we all be blessed with the very best.
    Love Jeanne

  14. Jeanne..ditto your comment! i love visiting your blog. :)

  15. mrsRabe .. when you get right down to it, God (and His grace) is all we who truly know Him, have. what a blessing.

  16. Adrienne .. oh sweet friend. love you.

  17. what came through your writing was not morose. . .but a trembling sort of expectation and holding on when the way is dark and painful. . .real Christmas. . .like the first one. . .it seemed to me sacred and holy. . .

  18. Susan .. thank you for your encouraging heart. :)

  19. Dearest Jane, I know that pain of which you speak. And have spent more than one Christmas as you describe. They are sweet, but the ache is there from that thorn in the flesh. What I see in you is true devotion and love for Him. You bring glory to His name.

  20. Becky..
    {{{gentle embrace}}}
    you are so precious.
    praying for you as well...


pearls of wisdom . . .